5 television shows that I'd rather eat my own eyes than watch an entire series of:
1. One Tree Hill. I don't understand why everyone loves it. Nothing in it bears any semblance to real life, and not in a lovely, fantasy sort of way (like Sex and the City), just in a way that half makes you jealous and half makes you realise that you are wasting your life by watching it.
2. Gilmore Girls. I don't know why, but there's something about it that makes me want to cry, it's just incredibly annoying. It might be because I hate the main characters a lot.
3. Big Brother. I know very few people actually admit to watching Big Brother (obviously there are people who watch the contestants sleep through the night or they wouldn't put round-the-clock coverage of "ALL THE HOUSE MATES ARE ASLEEP IN THE BEDROOM" on) and pretty much everything negative that can be said about it has already been said.
4. Hollyoaks. Half because there's so many episodes it would take my entire life to watch, and half because it's shit. Again, nothing like real life, but also totally depressing. Nothing good about it.
5. X Factor. I hate X Factor. I hate X Factor finalists and most of all I hate X Factor winners. The Christmas charts used to be vaguely interesting if only because you could moan about some shit novelty act getting number one. Now it's the same shit every year, some cover of a song that every one else in the world has covered with added key changes and a bit less credibility than last time, and it always wins. And that fucking Alexandra "ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE" Burke covered Leonard Cohen last time. Too far, Cowell, too far.