Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Pros and cons of the smoking ban and why I will always hate it.

Pros and cons of the smoking ban and why I will always hate it.

The smoking ban made me very sad. I had only been sixteen for such a short while when all of a sudden, BAM! Smoking ban and raised smoking age. 2007 would never be the same again.

For those who don’t smoke, have never smoked or purchased cigarettes illegally, you will never quite understand the doubt that plagues you as you drag your underage backside up to the counter. The person behind the counter seems to become taller, scarier and generally more evil, as they are the ones in control of your smoking fate. You might get a little sweaty, you might blush but you can almost guarantee you’d try your hardest to make your voice seem slightly deeper and therefore in your own mind, nonchalant. Of course, if you haven’t made the trek to the notorious newsagent that is known for selling cigarettes to kids, you probably will get knocked back and that’s an ordeal in itself. You can either do one of several things; you could hang your head in shame and walk out and then wait for your friend to try after you, check your bag and pockets for your imaginary id, or say that you are genuinely nineteen and that you lost your id and that you look young for age and they’re complementing you. None of these generally worked, unless you were very lucky.

Being a sixteen year old smoker was tough, it was all about looking cool (and failing) and scabbing cigarettes off anyone who’d give them out. The smoking ban was tough on us. We used to hang out in pretty big groups on pretty small sofas and chairs in pretty crappy coffee shops and smoke as much as we could without vomiting. Without the smoking ban we had places we could go where we could sit and be mildly anti-social towards other customers. It also gave us a place to “revise” during our study leave. In other words, we would sit and talk about childish things while listening to the cheesy songs they played on a loop, including such classics as Shaggy and “are Diana”.

When the smoking ban came in, we lost this magic and have now been banished to the streets and with the British weather it can be a struggle to stay positive. So after a couple of years of this, I still feel quite bitter about it. I do occasionally smoke indoors and it’s a wonderful feeling. It’s so relaxing sitting indoors, in the warm and using an ashtray. Nothing can beat it.

All in all there are very few pros to the smoking ban in my books. Yeah, of course we’re not damaging other people’s health blah blah, but seriously non-smokers don’t understand just how cold it is outside! And yes maybe we are smoking less and saving money, but it doesn’t stop me resenting all the bastards sat in the warmth with their coats off.

In all honesty, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. My only hope is that they don’t change the alcohol laws for at least three years until I’m out of university.

I need a cigarette.

Sunday, 22 March 2009

i can't look at your skin.

5 television shows that I'd rather eat my own eyes than watch an entire series of:

1. One Tree Hill. I don't understand why everyone loves it. Nothing in it bears any semblance to real life, and not in a lovely, fantasy sort of way (like Sex and the City), just in a way that half makes you jealous and half makes you realise that you are wasting your life by watching it.
2. Gilmore Girls. I don't know why, but there's something about it that makes me want to cry, it's just incredibly annoying. It might be because I hate the main characters a lot.
3. Big Brother. I know very few people actually admit to watching Big Brother (obviously there are people who watch the contestants sleep through the night or they wouldn't put round-the-clock coverage of "ALL THE HOUSE MATES ARE ASLEEP IN THE BEDROOM" on) and pretty much everything negative that can be said about it has already been said.
4. Hollyoaks. Half because there's so many episodes it would take my entire life to watch, and half because it's shit. Again, nothing like real life, but also totally depressing. Nothing good about it.
5. X Factor. I hate X Factor. I hate X Factor finalists and most of all I hate X Factor winners. The Christmas charts used to be vaguely interesting if only because you could moan about some shit novelty act getting number one. Now it's the same shit every year, some cover of a song that every one else in the world has covered with added key changes and a bit less credibility than last time, and it always wins. And that fucking Alexandra "ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE" Burke covered Leonard Cohen last time. Too far, Cowell, too far.

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

the easy things in life: sex and cheese.

I'm Rachel and I have a firm belief that leggings ARE trousers. My main ambition in life is to single-handedly bring back popworld and I'm really good at interpretive dance and inane rambles. I have an unfortunate talent for spending money quicker than I earn it (which I don't, even Matalan rejected my job application). I really like cheese and Helena Christensen, and I like Helena Christensen because she likes cheese. On her Wikipedia page it says this:
"Whenever my head is like a maze, I turn to the easy things in life, the things that mean the most to me: Sex and cheese. These things are connected. Truth be told, I love all cheese: French cheese, Italian cheese, even British cheese, but Danish cheese is the greatest. I get my best nightmares after I eat Danish cheese. Actually I've seriously thought about getting a cheese tattoo. A nice Edam on my shoulder, maybe."


discotheque wreck.

my name is jaz. my last name is christmas. my full name is jasmine severina whorton christmas. please, don't be afraid to hide your jealousy.
sometime it's difficult having such a mental last name, you wouldn't believe the amount of times people have hung up thinking i'm prank calling them. also, someone pointed out that my name, jaz christmas, sounds like a dodgy compliation cd.
i secretly enjoy the fact that i'm a bit of a geek. i really enjoy playstation 3, tomb raider and call of duty more specifically. and show me a marvel comic or a kevin smith film and i'm there. i do have other interests that make me less geeky, but they aren't quite as funny.
so yes. to summarise; stupid name, stupid interests, mildly amusing stories. good times ahead.

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

death cab for queen's girls

My name is Emma Jewson, which everyone laughs at because apparently Jewish people are HI-LARIOUS and I just never knew. I'm going to write a bit about myself, but not too much because that would be boring for everyone. I'm in year 13, I have another blog but things like this are always more fun when you do them in groups, and I like reading and writing and music and Stephen Fry. Bad grammar annoys me more than I can tell you. I would like to be blonde and witty but as it is I've got very dark hair and I'm just not that funny or clever, I'm afraid. I speak a bit of French, but only because I study it at A level, not because I'm incredibly cultured. Did I mention I really like Stephen Fry?